Offbeat Blog

My Milkshake Nightmare

Clive Omelet experiences a milkshake nightmare on his blog where he talks about his many predicaments.

I was making a cool and delicious milkshake to enjoy on a hot day recently but, when I took the lid off my blender, a ghostly voice told me to add more tuna.

What does one do when a life-changing event such as this occurs? I really need your help to heal from this nightmare. What advice would you give me so I may once again enjoy using my blender and savoring tuna milkshakes?

My Department Store Catastrophe

Clive Omelet experiences a department store catastrophe on his funny blog where he talks about his many predicaments.

I was at my favorite department store to buy a sporty coat and I couldn’t find what I was looking for. I asked the sales clerk for some help and he informed me that I was in a bakery.

What does one do when an incident of this magnitude occurs? I really need your help to move past this catastrophe. What advice would you give me so I may once again enjoy wearing sporty coats and eating baked goods?

My Shoe Turmoil

Clive Omelet experiences shoe turmoil on his blog where he talks about his many predicaments.

I was putting on one of my favorite pairs of shoes and looking forward to having a great day when I looked down and realized I was wearing two cantaloups on my feet.

What does one do when an event of this consequence transpires? I really need your help to heal from this turmoil. What advice would you give me so I may once again enjoy wearing shoes and eating delicious cantaloups?

My Candle Making Class Debacle

Clive Omelet experiences a candle making class debacle on his blog where he talks about his many predicaments.

I was excited to go to a candle making class and learn how to make beautiful candles. I was having a great time making a round candle but, when I pulled it out of the mold, I realized I had created an exact likeness of a wizard battling a dragon in a cafeteria.

What does one do when an event of this magnitude occurs? I really need your help to figure out how to heal after this debacle. What advice would you give me so I may once again enjoy making candles and spending quality time with wizards and dragons in a cafeteria?

My Petting Zoo Calamity

Clive Omelet experiences a petting zoo calamity on his blog where he talks about his many predicaments.

I was visiting a wonderful petting zoo and having a great time until I tripped on a goat and fell into a gaggle of geese.

What does one do when an earth-shattering event such as this occurs? I really need your help to heal from this experience. What advice would you give me so I may once again enjoy visiting petting zoos and mingling with goats and geese?

My Bath Cataclysm

Clive Omelet experiences a bath cataclysm on his blog where he talks about his many predicaments.

I was looking forward to taking a relaxing bath after a busy day but when I tried to turn on the water nothing was coming out. I kept turning the knobs until the ghost of Alexander the Great came out of the spigot and commented on my sassy shower cap.

What does one do when an event of this historical significance occurs? I really need your help to figure it all out. What advice would you give me so I may once again enjoy taking baths and talking to important figures from ancient Greece?

My Sports Drink Tragedy

Clive Omelet experiences a sports drink tragedy on his blog where he talks about his many predicaments.

I was trying to cool down after jogging and I decided to quench my thirst with my favorite sports drink. As I was drinking it, something tasted kind of strange and it wasn’t refreshing at all. A moment later I discovered that I was drinking clam chowder.

What does one do when a life-changing event like this transpires? I need your help to make sense of this tragedy. What advice would you give me so I may once again enjoy sports drinks and clam chowder?

My Mashed Potato Crisis

Clive Omelet experiences a mashed potato crisis on his blog where he talks about his many predicaments.

I was enjoying some delicious mashed potatoes when something about the texture seemed off. I inspected the mashed potatoes more closely and noticed there was a family of circus performers living in them.

What does one do when an event of this seriousness presents itself? I need your help to figure out what to do. What advice would you give me so I may once again savor mashed potatoes and going to the circus?

My Swimming Pool Disaster

Clive Omelet experiences a swimming pool disaster on his blog where he talks about his many predicaments.

I decided to go swimming the other day in my fabulous pool but, when I dove into the refreshing water, I saw something strange. I was relieved when I realized that it was just a Tyrannosaurus Rex.

What does one do when such a life-changing event occurs? I need your help to figure out how to deal with this disaster. What advice would you give me so I may once again enjoy swimming and dinosaurs?

My Pickle Jar Mayhem

Clive Omelet experiences pickle jar mayhem on his blog where he talks about his many predicaments.

I was in the mood for a delicious pickle but, when I tried to open the jar, it slipped out of my hands and flew out the window and into a passing horse-drawn carriage.

What does one do when an event such as this occurs? I really need your help to heal from this unbearable mayhem. What advice do you have for me so I may once again enjoy delicious pickles and horse-drawn carriage rides?

Clive Omelet
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